Why Do You Keep Choosing People Who Aren't Right for You?
You can recognise the red flags. You know what a healthy relationship should look like. And you're certainly not short of self-awareness.
So why do you still find yourself attracted to people who can't give you what you really want?
The answer isn't always as simple as having better boundaries or higher standards.
Sometimes, there are patterns influencing who you feel drawn to, what you're willing to overlook and how you behave once you're emotionally invested.
Discover your strongest relationship pattern, why it might be keeping you stuck and what you can start doing differently.
Free assessment · 11 questions · 3–4 minutes
The Potential Seeker
Strongest patternDraws you in: the person they could become
Secondary pattern: The Self-Sacrificer
Four patterns. One important question.
What's influencing the relationships you choose?
Some women find themselves chasing emotional availability. Others become invested in someone's potential, gradually compromise their own needs or struggle to trust the very consistency they've been looking for.
These patterns aren't personality flaws, and they don't define who you are.
But recognising them can help you understand why certain relationships feel so compelling, even when they aren't giving you what you need.
Which pattern is showing up most strongly in your relationships?
Discover what's influencing your relationship choices.
- 1
Explore your dating experiences
Answer 11 short questions about attraction, boundaries, emotional availability and compatibility.
- 2
Discover your relationship pattern
Receive a personalised breakdown of the tendencies that may be influencing your choices.
- 3
Learn how to choose differently
Get practical insights to help you recognise healthier, more reciprocal relationships.
Before you begin
Created by Lily Jones
Relationship Coach & Founder of Love With Intelligence
I've been coaching since 2018, helping women understand their relationship patterns, recognise genuine compatibility and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Through my coaching work, I've seen how intelligent, capable and self-aware women can find themselves repeating relationship experiences they know aren't right for them.
And I've also seen what can change when they begin understanding not just who they're choosing, but why.
This assessment brings together some of the most common patterns I've encountered through my work.
See the pattern before you choose again.
A few honest minutes now can change how you read every connection that comes next.
Free. 11 questions. About 3 to 4 minutes.
Prefer to talk it through first? Book a free 15-minute Love Fix with Lily.
